mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
