gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
