it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
