i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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