worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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