She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
