Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
