So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
