Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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