Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
