i was born a porn star she said
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
