Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
