Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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