All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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