just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
how does that bad decision feel?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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