i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
