Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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