i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
