i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
