We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
