I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
