Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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