Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
