census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
