I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize