U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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