Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
