We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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