You work out of a Hotel?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
