My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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