Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
