Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The Olympian is in my bed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
