You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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