I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
