I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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