she looked like the before picture.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
