but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Your dad touched me again.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
