I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
