Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
