Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
