you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
