This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
