My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
