omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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