Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
