Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
