i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
