You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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