Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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