I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
