do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
