if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
