So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
