Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
