if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
