He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
