Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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