Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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