Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
