doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
