And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
