it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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